These weeks are flying past. Once again so much has happened, but when I stop and look back and realize it was a whole week ago that I sat down to write I can hardly believe it. There've been some big ups and downs this week and a lot of decision-making. That, the weather, and generally not feeling well have left me a little lacking in practice time or attention this week, but I have hope of forgiveness because I hear from the other students that Ferg's philosophy of fall break is "Don't sweat it."
It's fall break now. There's hardly anyone on campus and whoever's here is eating box mac & cheese, ramen noodles, take-out pizza, canned soup, and the occasional bagel or fruit horded from the caf over the past week. It's a chintzy fall break--we're back in class on Wednesday morning. But somehow I wound up with everything cancelled but religion on Friday, so my fall break started at 9:00 on Friday morning.
Monday I worked hard to gather together information and ideas for an interim independent study to review with one of the comp professors here, at my advisor's suggestion. Tuesday I met with him and was basically told "I think it's a bad idea." That was very discouraging. Then I missed a concert, thinking it was at 8:15 when it was 7:00, so I walked in on the final applause. That didn't help my mood. Then I met Dressen in the hall, who had been hoping to run into me and discuss the rumor he'd heard about my language credits. It looked, for a moment, like I'd have to take language after all. In the end, I simply must study for and take the second semester French exam as a proficiency test. That also stressed me out. It was the culmination of a few stressful days and after my conversation with Dressen I walked out of the music building and sat on the benches, discouraged beyond words by the return of my nausea (yes, it's stress!) and cried. It was the first time I felt desperate because of being so alone up here.
Wednesday morning I skipped religion class for a lot of made-up legitimate reasons. The main reason was that it was snowing and when I woke up at 6:30 to shower I didn't want to get out of bed and start my day arguing with Ripley. My made-up reason was that I had to prepare for my meeting with the dean of first year students. That meeting went well and I was granted permission to completely take off interim. So, it is official and concluded that I will be home for almost seven weeks this winter. I get home December 16 and should be home till February 1. I'm so excited.
Wednesday and Thursday I had theory/sight-singing mid-terms. I did well, (As) but was the laughging-stock of the class when I got my theory test back to find a point taken off because I forgot to put stems on my half notes when I wrote my counterpoint. Oops.
Yes, it snowed this week--flurries much of Wednesday & Thursday. It didn't stick, fortunately. The wind chill got down under 20 a couple times. I thought I was going to die. I now think 35 is warm. Aileen rebuked me for not wearing a coat. "It's 25 degrees!" "It is!!?"
Yesterday I bought a bunch of wool sweaters at a consignment shop. Last night I hung out with Rachel Foster, watching Luther and chatting and eating apples and caramel. Today after church Christopher Evatt and I went with the Shavers for a picnic and hike at the apple orchard, where I got some amazing apples and some caramel. That, with some cheese and peanut butter, is my dinner tonight.
Tomorrow and Tuesday I should finish up work on Silent Word and send it off, and then it's back to schoolwork. In religion class I have both a paper and a midterm coming up in a couple weeks.
Well, this is a little fragmented. I'll have some pictures sooner or later from the Shavers to post here of our little hike today.
One more random anecdote...Thursday, in celebration of Ramadan, chapel was Muslim, complete with a student chanting from the Qu'ran. I didn't walk out because I think of it as a secular gathering anyway. But I did get a lot of thoughts about my upcoming paper processed. Rachel read her Con homework. Rachel, Kenny, Emily, and Christina (Emily, Rachel, and Christina are best friends), and I all had things to say about it at the end.
I am struck more and more about what a dead and hardened environment this is and how hard it will be for the gospel to truly penetrate it. My corridor's junior counselor is a "Lutheran Christian," who's both very active in the student congregation and the co-coordinator for GLOW ("Gay, Lesbian, or Whatever"). This week was coming-out week, and Friday was "Gender-Bender" day, when people were encouraged to dress the part. I saw one guy fully decked out in women's clothing. But we don't see that as inconsistent with a life of faith, whatever that may be. And there is such an intellectual, confident attitude, too. It is so different from what I saw in the movie, Luther, last night. This is a hard field. Pray that there would be soft places.
Pray especially for Kameko who's been on my heart this week. I hope I will be able to share the gospel but as I watch her and live with her I see in her such complete security and comfort in her way of thinking that I wonder if she will ever be receptive. Not to say she's one of them, but I'm running up against people who are unelect, not that I can tell who they are individually. But this is the stuff they are made of. It's sobering.
Continue to pray for my strength and healing from tendinitis, and that I would have the discipline and technique to handle it well without letting it ruin my practice efforts.
Pray for clarity and fast thinking as I write my OT topic paper--on God's justice and mercy, especially as seen in the laws of the Year of Jubilee. Pray also for a quick and satisfying completion to the Silent Word project.
Pray that I'll have opportunity to minister to Karin this week in light of the book I gave her last week. I know she hasn't read it as of Friday, but pray that she'll pick it up soon.
Well, now having picked up my room and made a place for my sweaters, all while listening to two hours of The Hymn Makers, they music is over and my knuckles are frozen and stiff and I'm hungry. Now for some supper and another chunk of the Dickens movie I'm watching bit by bit.
Getting excited to see many of you now that I have dates and plans set for the winter. It's only two months away. At the rate these weeks are flying, that's no time. Meanwhile much will happen here, not least of which will be our many rehearsals and performances of the renowned Christmas Fest. I think I'm not the only freshman a little giddy about it. Rehearsals start in two weeks, I think.
We began work on one of our pieces in Manitou this week and its beauty brought tears to my eyes. Here are the words:
If I were to ask you, Mary, to walk with me today,
If that's what I asked you Mary, What would you say?
I cannot walk alone with you, I don't know who you are.
In your shining robes with your eyes of fire. You dazzle like a star.
If I were to tell you, Mary, That God had chosen you
If that's what I told you, Mary, What would you do?
There is no truth in what you say, How could there possibly be?
For I am a simple country maid--You're making fun of me!
If I were to show you, Mary, The road that lies ahead,
If that's what I showed you, Mary, you'd listen to what I said.
What road is this you're talking of? This riddle's not for me!
It's the road that leads to Bethlehem, Then on to Calvary.
If you can see the future, In truth, God speaks through you
And I must do whatever he wills To make it all come true.
So let us walk together here and talk of things to be
Of a baby born in a humble shed, of a star, and wise men three.
And to continue in the style of this disorganized post... We heard a recording of our Sunday performance in chapel the other day. It took my breath away. It still feels a bit surreal to be here and part of all this. This is the kind of thing I've looked up to all my life as ideal and doubtless ever attainable. And that recording of a Mendelssohn Psalm--100 girls in a magnificent acoustic--wasn't even a dream come true, because I'd never ventured to dream it. I'm going to try to obtain the recording and bring it home with me at Christmas.
It's fall break now. There's hardly anyone on campus and whoever's here is eating box mac & cheese, ramen noodles, take-out pizza, canned soup, and the occasional bagel or fruit horded from the caf over the past week. It's a chintzy fall break--we're back in class on Wednesday morning. But somehow I wound up with everything cancelled but religion on Friday, so my fall break started at 9:00 on Friday morning.
Monday I worked hard to gather together information and ideas for an interim independent study to review with one of the comp professors here, at my advisor's suggestion. Tuesday I met with him and was basically told "I think it's a bad idea." That was very discouraging. Then I missed a concert, thinking it was at 8:15 when it was 7:00, so I walked in on the final applause. That didn't help my mood. Then I met Dressen in the hall, who had been hoping to run into me and discuss the rumor he'd heard about my language credits. It looked, for a moment, like I'd have to take language after all. In the end, I simply must study for and take the second semester French exam as a proficiency test. That also stressed me out. It was the culmination of a few stressful days and after my conversation with Dressen I walked out of the music building and sat on the benches, discouraged beyond words by the return of my nausea (yes, it's stress!) and cried. It was the first time I felt desperate because of being so alone up here.
Wednesday morning I skipped religion class for a lot of made-up legitimate reasons. The main reason was that it was snowing and when I woke up at 6:30 to shower I didn't want to get out of bed and start my day arguing with Ripley. My made-up reason was that I had to prepare for my meeting with the dean of first year students. That meeting went well and I was granted permission to completely take off interim. So, it is official and concluded that I will be home for almost seven weeks this winter. I get home December 16 and should be home till February 1. I'm so excited.
Wednesday and Thursday I had theory/sight-singing mid-terms. I did well, (As) but was the laughging-stock of the class when I got my theory test back to find a point taken off because I forgot to put stems on my half notes when I wrote my counterpoint. Oops.
Yes, it snowed this week--flurries much of Wednesday & Thursday. It didn't stick, fortunately. The wind chill got down under 20 a couple times. I thought I was going to die. I now think 35 is warm. Aileen rebuked me for not wearing a coat. "It's 25 degrees!" "It is!!?"
Yesterday I bought a bunch of wool sweaters at a consignment shop. Last night I hung out with Rachel Foster, watching Luther and chatting and eating apples and caramel. Today after church Christopher Evatt and I went with the Shavers for a picnic and hike at the apple orchard, where I got some amazing apples and some caramel. That, with some cheese and peanut butter, is my dinner tonight.
Tomorrow and Tuesday I should finish up work on Silent Word and send it off, and then it's back to schoolwork. In religion class I have both a paper and a midterm coming up in a couple weeks.
Well, this is a little fragmented. I'll have some pictures sooner or later from the Shavers to post here of our little hike today.
One more random anecdote...Thursday, in celebration of Ramadan, chapel was Muslim, complete with a student chanting from the Qu'ran. I didn't walk out because I think of it as a secular gathering anyway. But I did get a lot of thoughts about my upcoming paper processed. Rachel read her Con homework. Rachel, Kenny, Emily, and Christina (Emily, Rachel, and Christina are best friends), and I all had things to say about it at the end.
I am struck more and more about what a dead and hardened environment this is and how hard it will be for the gospel to truly penetrate it. My corridor's junior counselor is a "Lutheran Christian," who's both very active in the student congregation and the co-coordinator for GLOW ("Gay, Lesbian, or Whatever"). This week was coming-out week, and Friday was "Gender-Bender" day, when people were encouraged to dress the part. I saw one guy fully decked out in women's clothing. But we don't see that as inconsistent with a life of faith, whatever that may be. And there is such an intellectual, confident attitude, too. It is so different from what I saw in the movie, Luther, last night. This is a hard field. Pray that there would be soft places.
Pray especially for Kameko who's been on my heart this week. I hope I will be able to share the gospel but as I watch her and live with her I see in her such complete security and comfort in her way of thinking that I wonder if she will ever be receptive. Not to say she's one of them, but I'm running up against people who are unelect, not that I can tell who they are individually. But this is the stuff they are made of. It's sobering.
Continue to pray for my strength and healing from tendinitis, and that I would have the discipline and technique to handle it well without letting it ruin my practice efforts.
Pray for clarity and fast thinking as I write my OT topic paper--on God's justice and mercy, especially as seen in the laws of the Year of Jubilee. Pray also for a quick and satisfying completion to the Silent Word project.
Pray that I'll have opportunity to minister to Karin this week in light of the book I gave her last week. I know she hasn't read it as of Friday, but pray that she'll pick it up soon.
Well, now having picked up my room and made a place for my sweaters, all while listening to two hours of The Hymn Makers, they music is over and my knuckles are frozen and stiff and I'm hungry. Now for some supper and another chunk of the Dickens movie I'm watching bit by bit.
Getting excited to see many of you now that I have dates and plans set for the winter. It's only two months away. At the rate these weeks are flying, that's no time. Meanwhile much will happen here, not least of which will be our many rehearsals and performances of the renowned Christmas Fest. I think I'm not the only freshman a little giddy about it. Rehearsals start in two weeks, I think.
We began work on one of our pieces in Manitou this week and its beauty brought tears to my eyes. Here are the words:
If I were to ask you, Mary, to walk with me today,
If that's what I asked you Mary, What would you say?
I cannot walk alone with you, I don't know who you are.
In your shining robes with your eyes of fire. You dazzle like a star.
If I were to tell you, Mary, That God had chosen you
If that's what I told you, Mary, What would you do?
There is no truth in what you say, How could there possibly be?
For I am a simple country maid--You're making fun of me!
If I were to show you, Mary, The road that lies ahead,
If that's what I showed you, Mary, you'd listen to what I said.
What road is this you're talking of? This riddle's not for me!
It's the road that leads to Bethlehem, Then on to Calvary.
If you can see the future, In truth, God speaks through you
And I must do whatever he wills To make it all come true.
So let us walk together here and talk of things to be
Of a baby born in a humble shed, of a star, and wise men three.
And to continue in the style of this disorganized post... We heard a recording of our Sunday performance in chapel the other day. It took my breath away. It still feels a bit surreal to be here and part of all this. This is the kind of thing I've looked up to all my life as ideal and doubtless ever attainable. And that recording of a Mendelssohn Psalm--100 girls in a magnificent acoustic--wasn't even a dream come true, because I'd never ventured to dream it. I'm going to try to obtain the recording and bring it home with me at Christmas.
1 Comments:
I love you and miss you! I'm feeling a lot of similar things right now... I'm homesick and not enjoying the hostile environment. I totally know what you mean about the confidence these folks have. I mean, for people who believe in multiple truths, they sure know that we're wrong, don't they? Wish we could hang out together. Praying the Lord would strengthen and encourage you and make you an encouragement to others. You are precious in His sight and mine too!
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